What I Can't Control - and What I Can

Some things, I just can’t fix, and it’s not my job to.

People cause problems or have toxic traits that reverberate and affect the people around them without thinking twice.

And sometimes, they don’t even try to make it right.

These issues that I feel a responsibility to correct, they’re rooted in decisions other people made. And as much as I want to help the situation, I can’t force someone else to change or grow. I can’t carry what’s not mine to fix.

But here’s what I can do:

I can choose to trust that God is who He says He is, and that He is working all things for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) Sometimes God puts us in these difficult situations because He wants us to grow, and He wants to discipline us and teach us to learn more about His character in ways we wouldn't know otherwise without experience. We have to be careful that we do not place ourselves in the midst of somebody else’s trial. You can encourage them and you can give them advice, but don’t try to fix what that person is already not willing to change. Learn to separate yourself from taking on the burden of their consequences.

Do not turn your back on this person but if their motives are not in alignment with the word, you need to remove yourself if they will not listen to reason or seek the Lord themselves.

So… what I Can Control?

Instead of obsessing over what I can’t change, here’s what I’m taking ownership of:

My boundaries — this is a whole topic I can go into, but for my own mental peace, set a standard for myself and be confident in what is okay for me to let in, and what makes sense for me to block out.

How I treat others — even when they don’t deserve it. Or when I'm in the wrong, I have control over whether or not I take accountability for my behaviours.

The job I pursue — building a new skill and growing in knowledge is a privilege we should all take advantage of.

How hard I work — discipline is a hard choice, but to reap the rewards are priceless.

My relationship with God — this should be prioritized and nurtured

What I put in my body — health is wealth!

How I fuel my mind — this is the most important, because our thoughts control everything.

If you’re in a place where you’re overwhelmed, frustrated, or feel like you have no control over the things happening around you…

Ask God to show you what’s actually in your hands.

And let go of what’s in His.